What About the Girl?

he put a finger to his lips and nodded, “okay, how about: two guys are going to a college graduation party. One’s trying to convince his now ex-girlfriend to get back together with him, the other is trying to come out to his friend. Hijinx ensue, but it’s ultimately about finding yourself and your identity on the cusp of adulthood and in our relationships and friendships.”

“What about the girl?”

Miles blinked abruptly and scanned the page, “She’s, uh, enjoying the party?”

Simon pursed his lips and his second beer decided for him to be blunt. “Frankly, that sucks. Stories with women that are just set dressing or targets for the male protagonists are worthless. Flesh her out. Give her agency and goals of her own.”

“I mean, she did break up with,”

“And what, she gets convinced at the end to change her mind despite all the supposedly valid reasons she had for breaking up with him?” Simon saw Miles flush red and saw the answer.

“Sales lesson: your dude isn’t offering her anything different than the product she already passed on. If anything, you should have her convince him that breaking up is the right thing to do. Maybe she even knows his friend is trying to come out and she wants him to pay more attention to what he has rather than fighting to regain what’s lost.”

Author: Y. Balloo

Amateur novelist / Work in progress.

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