There’s a story of a King who wanted “a superlative horse” and asked his stable master to go about finding this horse for him. The stable master humbly refused, suggesting a local wise man who would have better aptitude for identifying the truly superlative horse instead go about the search. The King followed the advice, and tasked the wise man with the project. Later, the king sent a messenger for information on the horse, and the messenger returned with a note stating the horse was a brown coated colt. The messenger told the king he found this odd because the horse he had seen was a black coated mare.
The King summoned the stable master, and demanded an explanation of why he’d been referred to an idiot who couldn’t tell sex or even color of a horse. The stable master replied, ‘is he really so enlightened as that? He’s completely oblivious to inconsequential details and that allows him to focus on that which truly matters in finding the right horse.’ Sure enough, when the horse arrived it was truly superlative in every aspect of note.
The internet is full of hot takes on relationships and dating advice. What to look for in a partner, what to present to attract one. Hell, Cosmo alone has a compendium of these. Much of it asks people to consider and focus on exterior aspects- the look of a thing, the shape of a thing. Yet, for every rule don’t we know an exception?
Long distance relationships are often called out as impossible flights of fancy, but two of my best friends married four years now in a wonderful relationship managed cross country long distance for 3 years before they got engaged. Is it best to find a partner that aligns, complements, or contrasts? What about their zodiac sign? What about height?
I think we can get wrapped up in hard and fast appearance aspects for not only dating, but a lot of things. My one rule is that really are no rules except that we bring honesty, character, and patience to the table. If you look beyond the outer qualities of a thing, you find the inner qualities that truly make a person and what you share with them superb.